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candygrammeTitle: What You Can Have
Genre: slash
Featuring: Jensen/Jared
Word Count: 4,223
Beta:spoonless1
Back from the Christmas break and ready to amp up Season 4 a notch, Jared and Jensen arrived in Vancouver full of New Year's resolutions. Jensen was the first to disembark from his flight, shivering as he looked at the patches of snow that still lay on the ground, so different from the heat of Los Angeles, where he'd spent the last few days. He made it through immigration and headed off for the baggage claim to gather his suitcase. He usually took only a carry-on with him, but a week at home, coupled with Christmas presents and other essentials that had been pressed on him by family and friends, had meant the purchase of another bag.
The carousel was plodding its way around, and Jensen was waiting for his case, when two large hands covered his eyes, and he felt his heart thump inside his chest, because now he was home even though he was standing at an airport in a foreign land.
"Jay," he breathed, smiling, and Jared turned him around into a hug that stole his breath.
"Glad to be back?" Jared was beaming, his thousand-watt smile outshining the lights on the ceiling, and the sight of him, long legs, large, restless hands and beaming smile, set things deep in his belly tightening, warming him in some obscure way.
"18-hour days, bitter winds and snow on the ground, what's not to love?" responded Jensen, bending to heave his case off the carousel and onto a cart.
"Dude, I have plans." Jared chuckled, leading the way over to where his luggage would be appearing. "You and I are gonna get ripped and shake off the winter blues."
"Yeah, okay," laughed Jensen. Whatever Jared was planning, he would be right there without question, because it was Jared, and Jensen Ackles was head over heels in love with him.
~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~
When he’s fully clothed, Jared Padalecki had always given the impression of being kind of skinny, and he usually dressed in loose stuff, hoodies and baggy jeans, and overshirts, which only added to the illusion that he was a tall, skinny weed of a guy. Watching Jared do lunges, a barbell full of weights on his shoulders, Jensen Ackles knew first hand just how wrong that impression was. He’d been watching Jared, watching the muscles and sinews strain as Jared focused on building them, seen the bulge of bicep beneath smooth brown skin and yearned.
Dressed in a white singlet and a pair of satin shorts, Jared’s body was on full display, sweat-shiny. His focused, mobile face for once wasn’t grinning as he stepped forward, dipped, rose, changed legs and repeated, the muscles in his thighs swelling with each rep. While he did so, Jensen, doing his fifth set of shoulder presses, watched him, eyes following every move of the beautifully ripped body, and still he wished.
Coming to the end of his set, Jared hoisted the barbell off his shoulders and heaved it to the ground, heading over to where he’d left his sweats and his water bottle. “Your turn, Jen. Hop to it,” he called as he took a swig from the water and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Gotta keep that butt firm and those thighs strong enough to crack a maiden’s skull between ‘em.”
“Shut up!” Jensen was on his feet, stepping up to trade places with Jared, shouldering the weights. He watched Jared as he took his seat and began to press the bar over his head, and Jensen was almost frozen to the spot, entranced, watching the play of muscle in chest and shoulder.
Jared was lost in his own world, concentrating on the exercise For once he was quiet, cat’s eyes drifting closed, cheeks flushed, chest rising and falling as he breathed in, lifted, exhaled and allowed the weight down to rest on the pads of his traps.
Belatedly, Jensen performed his lunges, feeling the burn, working himself hard, wanting to make Jared watch him the way he was watching his co-star. He wished that Jared would become as turned on and lust crazed as he was, because if ever there was something Jensen wanted, it was his co-star: this long, tall, Texan child-man with the ready grin and the body to die for. It was at moments like this that Jensen couldn’t put the need away, couldn’t hide his own inappropriate desire from himself.
Their bodies worked, trading places, spotting each other as and when they needed, an intricate dance, graceful and powerful. Jensen couldn’t believe how swiftly the time passed, until suddenly it was warm-down time. Jensen really didn’t want the session to end, wanted to go on moving weights, watching Jared as muscle slid under satin skin.
Jared joined him for their warm-down, and the two of them hit the treadmills, loping easily, Jared’s long legs flying, hair matted with sweat, bound back from his face by a bandana, fueled by the music from his Ipod. Jensen had to run faster to keep up with him, just because his legs were shorter. He was always aware of the challenges his stockier body gave him, but he needed to have Jared as proud of him as he was of Jared.
Finally, dripping with sweat, the two of them were done and stumbled down looking for water. “Awesome workout,” grinned Jared, nudging his co-star with one pumped shoulder. “Lookin’ good, Jen.”
“It’ll do.” Jensen pursed his lips, studying Jared’s lean form, unable to keep the heat out of his eyes. Jared had his towel around his neck, and his throat and chest were sheened with sweat. He was drinking from his bottle of water, head tipped back and throat working as he swallowed. Jensen dropped his hands down to hide the embarrassing swelling at his groin and watched him. His heart was thumping, and he was flustered, flushed, wondering why this was suddenly happening to him, knowing that he had to push it away and forget about it. Co-stars — especially male co-stars — were just not good love interests unless you were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. There was way too much at stake to lose his head over a pair of slumberous, slanted eyes and a grin the width of the Grand Canyon.
“You going to bed now? They wanted me to tan for a while — said that I’m getting pale, but I’m thinking I’m going to hit the shower and then go get a little sleep. Man, I’m tired.” Jensen was trying hard to sound normal, failing miserably, sounding stilted even to himself. Jared gazed at him with a calculating look in his tip-tilted eyes and smiled inwardly.
“I’m thinking hot tub, dude,” he said, his beaming smile suddenly making an appearance. “Come on. Come with. You know you wanna.” Striding over to gather up his sweats, he slung the top around his shoulders and made for the door, leaving Jensen to follow him. Shrugging, Jensen followed as he always did, hoping that the hot tub wouldn’t give away his guilty secret.
The lateness of the hour gave Jensen pause, but the thought of going to his lonely bed and leaving Jared to lounge almost naked in a hot tub was more than one man could stand, and, besides, he loved hot tubs. Shrugging, he grabbed for his own sweats and followed Jared into the shower his co-star had put in when he set up his gym. They were going to hit the back yard, and he was going to hell; he just knew it.
~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~
Holy hell, the shower was purgatory for Jensen. Running water, the sight of Jared, the long V of his back, the rounded globes of his ass, and the large, long-fingered hands sliding over his soapy skin, and Jensen had to turn his back, afraid that Jared would see the hard-on that was evidence of his desperate desire.
“I’m not gonna go too crazy,” murmured Jared, stepping out from under the water and wrapping a towel around his lean waist as he headed for the hot tub.
"Too late, dude. The boot polish on the sound technician's car marked the official moment you went too crazy." Jensen's lazy voice was a tribute to his self control, and he congratulated himself on managing to sound offhand. Jared's chuckle floated back as he rummaged in the fridge for beers and then left the room to head for the hot tub out in the back yard.
As Jensen finally slid into the warmth of the hot tub, Jared flicked water at him and frowned. "Earlier, I wanted to say that I wasn't gonna go too crazy about bulking up any more. I did it for Friday the 13th, because I wanted to look like I could at least run away from Jason Vorhees. Would have been totally stupid for some skinny, pretty boy to be fighting Jason. The guy who played Jason was huge — way bigger than me, but at least I looked like I could have run away from him a little better." He popped the top off a beer and passed it to Jensen as he was speaking and then put his own to his lips with a pleased sigh.
Jared's artlessness was making Jensen crazy. Recalling the sleek muscle sliding under his co-star's skin as they'd worked out, Jensen shivered, but all he said was, "So you got yourself all pumped up so you could emulate the brave Sir Robin?" He snickered as he took the proffered bottle and lifted his voice in song.
"When danger reared it's ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out…"
"Yeah, dude, that's it exactly." Jared grinned, wide and white, dimples dark hollows under the lamplight that illuminated his patio. He tossed something at Jensen that, upon examination, proved to be a small plastic duck. Diverted, Jensen stared at Jared.
"Jay, what?"
Jared laughed. "That's baby duck. I've got mommy and daddy too, and a couple of his brothers." He fumbled around on his side of the tub and began to toss more ducks into the bubbling water.
It wasn't long before the two of them were fighting duck battles, each man fiercely defending his half of the tub, and for a little while Jensen was able to forget his longing. When at last they clambered out and headed indoors, both men were ready for bed, exhausted and pleasantly buzzed. Pausing at the top of the stairs as Jensen turned to go down to his room, Jared pulled him into a hug. "G'night, li'l buddy," he said with a grin, and his mocking laughter followed Jensen down as he snorted and made his subsequent, grumbling descent to his lonely room.
~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~
Jensen always thought that the fact he lived in Jared's basement was symbolic. True, he believed wholeheartedly that suppressing his need to get up close and personal with Mr. Jared Tristan Hotass Padalecki was in some manner a sign of virtue, but he was big and strong. He could take it, and for just as long as he could stay close to Jared, he would hang in, no matter how blue his balls got. He’d long since given up any fantasy of converting him to his side of the blanket.
And then Jared and Sandy, his long-time girlfriend, split up.
My Bloody Valentine was due to be released within a couple of weeks, and Jensen was going to have to go and make nice with Hollywood, just because it was something of a trail-blazer. It was the first movie of its type, using brand new technology, and Jensen only wished that it could have been a better one. Still, he would be away from Jared, who he knew was having a bad time.
“Don’t worry about it, dude,” Jared said when Jensen mentioned it to him as they were driving home from the studio late one Fraturday after a grueling day at the office. “I’ll probably just sleep, while you’re hobnobbing with all the starlets and bigwigs.”
“You know I will worry,” murmured Jensen. “I… I’m really fond of you. I don’t like to see you so down.”
“This too shall pass,” said Jared, affecting a noble air that made Jensen laugh and punch him on the arm.
And so it went.
~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~
The premiere of My Bloody Valentine went as well as could be expected, Jensen thought. He knew the movie wasn’t that great, but he’d received kudos from a number of people in the industry for his role as the tortured Tom Hanniger, and buried the hatchet at last with Jessica Alba, who had apologized profusely for her behavior to him during the making of Dark Angel. He counted the weekend a win, and decided to cut out the Monday rehash with his friends and go home a day early. As he sat on the plane on the way back to YVR, he was looking forward to seeing Jared’s grinning face awaiting him in the arrival lounge. He’d texted Jared from the plane, but had no reply.
However, he was to be disappointed. There was no Jared to be seen. Jared’s phone went to voicemail after ringing for an inordinately long time and, finally, dispirited, he hailed a cab and clambered in.
Traffic wasn’t bad at 9 p.m. on a Sunday night, and he was soon running up the pathway with his suitcase, fumbling to open the door and find out what had happened with Jared.
It was dark. There was a smell of spilt alcohol, and underlying that, of vomit, and Jensen’s heart sank. Dumping his suitcase at the top of the stairs he shrugged off his jacket and went in search of Jared.
There were bottles strewn all over the living room, beer and Jack, and, weirdly, one empty bottle that had contained Baileys. Of Jared there was no trace. His bedroom was empty, and so was his bathroom. His bed had apparently been stripped, and the laundry room seemed to be where the scent of vomit was coming from. Shrugging his shoulders, Jensen got busy and dealt with the soiled bedding, finally shoving it into the washing machine to run it through the super special cycle for very dirty things.
Jared, when he was finally discovered, was down in the basement in Jensen’s bed. He was snoring loud enough to rattle the windows, and he stank of booze.
“Oh, baby,” whispered Jensen. “Why didn’t you come with me? You should’ve come with me.”
He went to find Tylenol and water, knowing how awful Jared would feel, come morning, and then stripped and clambered into bed beside him, taking the opportunity to feel the man he loved next to him, and hopefully to dream of things he knew could never be.
~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~
The morning came with much moaning and groaning. Jared said nothing upon waking. He drank the water, took the painkillers and then stumbled off, mumbling about needing to run off his hangover. Jensen just grunted. He could wait.
Finally, acknowledging that he wasn’t going to be able to sleep any longer, he rolled out of bed and went to prepare a cooked breakfast for his ridiculous co-star.
True to form, Jared arrived, sweaty and panting, and stood in the kitchen sniffing the air and from the looks of it salivating.
“Go shower. You don’t get to eat my bacon smelling like a horse.”
“Do not!” replied Jared, but his response was very quiet, and he went obediently to wash up.
By the time he’d showered and cleaned up, Jensen had scrambled eggs, made toast, sausage and bacon, and was slicing up tomatoes to garnish their plates. Wordlessly, Jensen pushed over a plate with a large helping and went to pour out the coffee. Jared gazed at him and muttered what might have been a ‘thank you’, but said nothing further.
They both ate. After his meal and several cups of coffee, Jared looked almost as if he would live, and Jensen decided it was time at last to talk about what had gone on while he was away.
“Why didn’t you come with me if you were so afraid of being left alone?” he asked. “You know I was worried. What were you thinking?”
“You’ve got your own life, Jen. I know you were taking Danneel to the premiere. Don’t wanna be the third wheel.” Jared looked as though he’d rather be anywhere but there, and Jensen stood as Jared did, putting out a hand to try and prevent him from leaving, beginning to feel a little spike of anger at Jared’s attempt to brush him off.
“For fuck’s sake, Jay! You know that Danny is a convenient partner for PR purposes,” growled Jensen. “So come on. Man up and tell me what was really bothering you.”
He put the hand out once again, daring this time to touch the other man's cheek, and then, without warning, he was swept up into an embrace that astonished him, hard body against his and the press of a growing presence behind the soft, well-worn denim against his groin.
Chest to chest, the two of them locked eyes. Widely dilated green looked with longing into hazel. Jensen felt his heart stutter. The erection he had been battling with a half-hour before was back, and it had brought reinforcements. He wasn't sure what to do next but felt that if he could only keep on breathing that would be a start. He felt his chest hitch in a sobbing breath. Then Jared moved gently in to place his soft lips onto Jensen’s, and it was too late to turn and run, too late to fight, too late to do anything except hold on tight to Jared and open up to the gently probing tongue, permitting it to slide in to tease his own.
Moaning now, he ran his hands around Jared’s back and pulled him in closer, until the breath faltered and hitched in his throat, and he knew that this was it. This was what he wanted, had always wanted. There could be no going back. He felt Jared's hand tangled in his hair and prayed that he could have this.
Lips parted then, and Jared lapped tenderly at the corner of his mouth. The words he’d always wanted to hear, but never believed would be possible, came at last, low, rustle of voice like the leaves blowing through a crisp fall morning.
"I missed you, and I realized why I finally ended things with Sandy. It wasn’t easy to admit it to myself, but now I have to, because I love you, Jensen." And Jensen believed. His body surged and leapt as the words hit him, sank in and permeated him with joy. He smiled softly at his co-star, the long tall Texan he didn't believe he would be able to let go of, ever again.
Jared closed his eyes for a minute, before opening them wide once more and reaching out his hand to capture Jensen's wrist. Slowly he brought Jensen's hand up to his lips, and Jensen gasped as he felt those lips he had been fantasizing about since the first season brush the back of his hand. Jensen shook his head from side to side, denying everything to himself. Jared stood calmly, still holding Jensen's hand, waiting. His tongue tip protruded just a little, and he traced a small wet circle on Jensen’s knuckles, making him gasp as he felt a flood of warmth rush from his belly button down to his groin, taking his common sense with it. Jared moaned very quietly, and slowly dropped to his knees.
Jared's eyes seemed impossibly large, and Jensen felt as if he was sinking into them, drowning in them. He slowly leaned forward, bending until his lips touched Jared’s. For a moment, the kneeling man stayed still, relishing the feel of the soft mouth on his, lip brushing silky lip in a gentle motion that made the blood pound in his ears.
For a few minutes, nothing mattered to either of them but the feel of tongue sliding over tongue, and the moistness of lip on lip. Finally Jared pulled back just far enough to allow him to speak. He opened his mouth, but only to mutter, “I love you,” again.
Jensen stopped his voice by moving in to kiss his lips again before wandering away to the corner of his mouth, over his eyelids to his thick, still damp hair. Jared gasped as Jensen began to nibble and suck on his neck leaving red marks behind as his lips wandered lazily over his skin. For a while, the only sounds were those of hands skating over toned bodies, and the moist sounds of mouth on skin, the ragged breathing of both men, and the clicking of doggy paws on the tile as Harley came in for a drink. He didn’t seem at all surprised.
Jensen felt as if he were bursting. His skin was too tight. He couldn't get enough air to fill his lungs, and the whole of his body sang like a harp as he did his best to climb inside Jared's skin. His hands wandered down to the tell-tale erection the other man was sporting. Jared groaned as Jensen delved down into his pants and took hold of him, squeezing gently and stroking up and down as he did so. Jensen could see the other man's face flush as his eyelids fluttered closed and then open again. Jensen watched the expression of awe creep across Jared’s face as he drank in the sight of Jensen's love stricken expression. Jared whimpered quietly, his eyes cloudy with need as Jensen made love to him.
“I don’t understand. How come you suddenly love me?” Jensen wasn’t sure if he should spoil the moment they were having. Jared laughed briefly.
“It’s not suddenly, Jen.” He shook his head. “Been in love with you since we met in Kripke’s office.” He picked Jensen up, ignoring protests that he was a grown man rather than a blushing bride and lugged him off to Jensen’s bedroom, dumping him down somewhat brusquely onto the unmade bed. “Why do you think I ended things with Sandy?”
“But you said…”
“I know, but you have to give a lady a way out. Sandy’s a really awesome girl.” Jared petted Jensen’s hair, smoothing him back until he was lying down, gazing up at Jared.
Jared's voice was gentle, faintly amused. "Right now I need you to love me, please love me. That’ll make everything right again."
Jensen nodded lying back on the comforter, tugging down on the sweats he was wearing to expose his cock standing tall and firm, moisture oozing from the tip. He reached down and pumped it up and down slowly, licking his lips, he gazed up at Jared while he fumbled down into Jared’s jeans to grab what felt like a very promising erection.
Watching with great interest he observed the way the other man responded to certain movements on his part and wondered why he’d never been able to see it before. It would have saved so much pain and woe.
Turning his concentration to the task in hand, Jensen squeezed the firm flesh he was holding, feeling the tremor that shivered through it. Circling the head of Jared's cock with his finger and thumb, Jensen began to squeeze around the ridge that separated it from the shaft, and as Jared arched his head backwards, moaning, he dipped his head to take it into his mouth, lapping at it before sucking it in as deeply as he could manage.
Jared tasted of salt and sweat. He tasted of love. There was nothing bitter about the drips that fell one at a time onto his tongue. Jared tasted better than anything he’d ever sampled, and he knew that he could never grow tired of it.
Closing his hand over the base of Jared’s thick shaft, Jensen pumped it firmly as he sucked. He knew that there was no way he could get the whole of it into his mouth, so he concentrated on the head of it, using every move he knew to give Jared pleasure. After a very few minutes he heard Jared's breathing change as he continued the sucking pressure. He felt Jared arch, buck, and finally come in Jensen's mouth. Heated velvet shuddered as it spat out the evidence of his care, and Jensen drank from him. Spurting semen still managed to trickle from the corner of his mouth as he swallowed, but Jensen didn’t care. This was his at last. He’d offered Jared his heart, and for a wonder, Jared had accepted it — even wanted it. He didn’t understand it but he sure wasn’t going to argue.
Jared was totally limp, lying flat and gasping as Jensen sucked him clean, running his fingers over the intimate creases where legs met belly.
Gently, Jensen wriggled himself upwards again to check on Jared. He was lying in a sprawl, boneless and panting, a smile of total bliss on his face as Jensen carefully claimed his mouth. Together they shared the taste of Jared's come as Jensen kissed him again.
“Love you, Jay,” Jensen whispered.
“Love you, Jen,” was the soft reply.
Genre: slash
Featuring: Jensen/Jared
Word Count: 4,223
Beta:
spoonless1Back from the Christmas break and ready to amp up Season 4 a notch, Jared and Jensen arrived in Vancouver full of New Year's resolutions. Jensen was the first to disembark from his flight, shivering as he looked at the patches of snow that still lay on the ground, so different from the heat of Los Angeles, where he'd spent the last few days. He made it through immigration and headed off for the baggage claim to gather his suitcase. He usually took only a carry-on with him, but a week at home, coupled with Christmas presents and other essentials that had been pressed on him by family and friends, had meant the purchase of another bag.
The carousel was plodding its way around, and Jensen was waiting for his case, when two large hands covered his eyes, and he felt his heart thump inside his chest, because now he was home even though he was standing at an airport in a foreign land.
"Jay," he breathed, smiling, and Jared turned him around into a hug that stole his breath.
"Glad to be back?" Jared was beaming, his thousand-watt smile outshining the lights on the ceiling, and the sight of him, long legs, large, restless hands and beaming smile, set things deep in his belly tightening, warming him in some obscure way.
"18-hour days, bitter winds and snow on the ground, what's not to love?" responded Jensen, bending to heave his case off the carousel and onto a cart.
"Dude, I have plans." Jared chuckled, leading the way over to where his luggage would be appearing. "You and I are gonna get ripped and shake off the winter blues."
"Yeah, okay," laughed Jensen. Whatever Jared was planning, he would be right there without question, because it was Jared, and Jensen Ackles was head over heels in love with him.
When he’s fully clothed, Jared Padalecki had always given the impression of being kind of skinny, and he usually dressed in loose stuff, hoodies and baggy jeans, and overshirts, which only added to the illusion that he was a tall, skinny weed of a guy. Watching Jared do lunges, a barbell full of weights on his shoulders, Jensen Ackles knew first hand just how wrong that impression was. He’d been watching Jared, watching the muscles and sinews strain as Jared focused on building them, seen the bulge of bicep beneath smooth brown skin and yearned.
Dressed in a white singlet and a pair of satin shorts, Jared’s body was on full display, sweat-shiny. His focused, mobile face for once wasn’t grinning as he stepped forward, dipped, rose, changed legs and repeated, the muscles in his thighs swelling with each rep. While he did so, Jensen, doing his fifth set of shoulder presses, watched him, eyes following every move of the beautifully ripped body, and still he wished.
Coming to the end of his set, Jared hoisted the barbell off his shoulders and heaved it to the ground, heading over to where he’d left his sweats and his water bottle. “Your turn, Jen. Hop to it,” he called as he took a swig from the water and then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Gotta keep that butt firm and those thighs strong enough to crack a maiden’s skull between ‘em.”
“Shut up!” Jensen was on his feet, stepping up to trade places with Jared, shouldering the weights. He watched Jared as he took his seat and began to press the bar over his head, and Jensen was almost frozen to the spot, entranced, watching the play of muscle in chest and shoulder.
Jared was lost in his own world, concentrating on the exercise For once he was quiet, cat’s eyes drifting closed, cheeks flushed, chest rising and falling as he breathed in, lifted, exhaled and allowed the weight down to rest on the pads of his traps.
Belatedly, Jensen performed his lunges, feeling the burn, working himself hard, wanting to make Jared watch him the way he was watching his co-star. He wished that Jared would become as turned on and lust crazed as he was, because if ever there was something Jensen wanted, it was his co-star: this long, tall, Texan child-man with the ready grin and the body to die for. It was at moments like this that Jensen couldn’t put the need away, couldn’t hide his own inappropriate desire from himself.
Their bodies worked, trading places, spotting each other as and when they needed, an intricate dance, graceful and powerful. Jensen couldn’t believe how swiftly the time passed, until suddenly it was warm-down time. Jensen really didn’t want the session to end, wanted to go on moving weights, watching Jared as muscle slid under satin skin.
Jared joined him for their warm-down, and the two of them hit the treadmills, loping easily, Jared’s long legs flying, hair matted with sweat, bound back from his face by a bandana, fueled by the music from his Ipod. Jensen had to run faster to keep up with him, just because his legs were shorter. He was always aware of the challenges his stockier body gave him, but he needed to have Jared as proud of him as he was of Jared.
Finally, dripping with sweat, the two of them were done and stumbled down looking for water. “Awesome workout,” grinned Jared, nudging his co-star with one pumped shoulder. “Lookin’ good, Jen.”
“It’ll do.” Jensen pursed his lips, studying Jared’s lean form, unable to keep the heat out of his eyes. Jared had his towel around his neck, and his throat and chest were sheened with sweat. He was drinking from his bottle of water, head tipped back and throat working as he swallowed. Jensen dropped his hands down to hide the embarrassing swelling at his groin and watched him. His heart was thumping, and he was flustered, flushed, wondering why this was suddenly happening to him, knowing that he had to push it away and forget about it. Co-stars — especially male co-stars — were just not good love interests unless you were Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. There was way too much at stake to lose his head over a pair of slumberous, slanted eyes and a grin the width of the Grand Canyon.
“You going to bed now? They wanted me to tan for a while — said that I’m getting pale, but I’m thinking I’m going to hit the shower and then go get a little sleep. Man, I’m tired.” Jensen was trying hard to sound normal, failing miserably, sounding stilted even to himself. Jared gazed at him with a calculating look in his tip-tilted eyes and smiled inwardly.
“I’m thinking hot tub, dude,” he said, his beaming smile suddenly making an appearance. “Come on. Come with. You know you wanna.” Striding over to gather up his sweats, he slung the top around his shoulders and made for the door, leaving Jensen to follow him. Shrugging, Jensen followed as he always did, hoping that the hot tub wouldn’t give away his guilty secret.
The lateness of the hour gave Jensen pause, but the thought of going to his lonely bed and leaving Jared to lounge almost naked in a hot tub was more than one man could stand, and, besides, he loved hot tubs. Shrugging, he grabbed for his own sweats and followed Jared into the shower his co-star had put in when he set up his gym. They were going to hit the back yard, and he was going to hell; he just knew it.
~~~~~~~oo(O)oo~~~~~~~
Holy hell, the shower was purgatory for Jensen. Running water, the sight of Jared, the long V of his back, the rounded globes of his ass, and the large, long-fingered hands sliding over his soapy skin, and Jensen had to turn his back, afraid that Jared would see the hard-on that was evidence of his desperate desire.
“I’m not gonna go too crazy,” murmured Jared, stepping out from under the water and wrapping a towel around his lean waist as he headed for the hot tub.
"Too late, dude. The boot polish on the sound technician's car marked the official moment you went too crazy." Jensen's lazy voice was a tribute to his self control, and he congratulated himself on managing to sound offhand. Jared's chuckle floated back as he rummaged in the fridge for beers and then left the room to head for the hot tub out in the back yard.
As Jensen finally slid into the warmth of the hot tub, Jared flicked water at him and frowned. "Earlier, I wanted to say that I wasn't gonna go too crazy about bulking up any more. I did it for Friday the 13th, because I wanted to look like I could at least run away from Jason Vorhees. Would have been totally stupid for some skinny, pretty boy to be fighting Jason. The guy who played Jason was huge — way bigger than me, but at least I looked like I could have run away from him a little better." He popped the top off a beer and passed it to Jensen as he was speaking and then put his own to his lips with a pleased sigh.
Jared's artlessness was making Jensen crazy. Recalling the sleek muscle sliding under his co-star's skin as they'd worked out, Jensen shivered, but all he said was, "So you got yourself all pumped up so you could emulate the brave Sir Robin?" He snickered as he took the proffered bottle and lifted his voice in song.
"When danger reared it's ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out…"
"Yeah, dude, that's it exactly." Jared grinned, wide and white, dimples dark hollows under the lamplight that illuminated his patio. He tossed something at Jensen that, upon examination, proved to be a small plastic duck. Diverted, Jensen stared at Jared.
"Jay, what?"
Jared laughed. "That's baby duck. I've got mommy and daddy too, and a couple of his brothers." He fumbled around on his side of the tub and began to toss more ducks into the bubbling water.
It wasn't long before the two of them were fighting duck battles, each man fiercely defending his half of the tub, and for a little while Jensen was able to forget his longing. When at last they clambered out and headed indoors, both men were ready for bed, exhausted and pleasantly buzzed. Pausing at the top of the stairs as Jensen turned to go down to his room, Jared pulled him into a hug. "G'night, li'l buddy," he said with a grin, and his mocking laughter followed Jensen down as he snorted and made his subsequent, grumbling descent to his lonely room.
Jensen always thought that the fact he lived in Jared's basement was symbolic. True, he believed wholeheartedly that suppressing his need to get up close and personal with Mr. Jared Tristan Hotass Padalecki was in some manner a sign of virtue, but he was big and strong. He could take it, and for just as long as he could stay close to Jared, he would hang in, no matter how blue his balls got. He’d long since given up any fantasy of converting him to his side of the blanket.
And then Jared and Sandy, his long-time girlfriend, split up.
My Bloody Valentine was due to be released within a couple of weeks, and Jensen was going to have to go and make nice with Hollywood, just because it was something of a trail-blazer. It was the first movie of its type, using brand new technology, and Jensen only wished that it could have been a better one. Still, he would be away from Jared, who he knew was having a bad time.
“Don’t worry about it, dude,” Jared said when Jensen mentioned it to him as they were driving home from the studio late one Fraturday after a grueling day at the office. “I’ll probably just sleep, while you’re hobnobbing with all the starlets and bigwigs.”
“You know I will worry,” murmured Jensen. “I… I’m really fond of you. I don’t like to see you so down.”
“This too shall pass,” said Jared, affecting a noble air that made Jensen laugh and punch him on the arm.
And so it went.
The premiere of My Bloody Valentine went as well as could be expected, Jensen thought. He knew the movie wasn’t that great, but he’d received kudos from a number of people in the industry for his role as the tortured Tom Hanniger, and buried the hatchet at last with Jessica Alba, who had apologized profusely for her behavior to him during the making of Dark Angel. He counted the weekend a win, and decided to cut out the Monday rehash with his friends and go home a day early. As he sat on the plane on the way back to YVR, he was looking forward to seeing Jared’s grinning face awaiting him in the arrival lounge. He’d texted Jared from the plane, but had no reply.
However, he was to be disappointed. There was no Jared to be seen. Jared’s phone went to voicemail after ringing for an inordinately long time and, finally, dispirited, he hailed a cab and clambered in.
Traffic wasn’t bad at 9 p.m. on a Sunday night, and he was soon running up the pathway with his suitcase, fumbling to open the door and find out what had happened with Jared.
It was dark. There was a smell of spilt alcohol, and underlying that, of vomit, and Jensen’s heart sank. Dumping his suitcase at the top of the stairs he shrugged off his jacket and went in search of Jared.
There were bottles strewn all over the living room, beer and Jack, and, weirdly, one empty bottle that had contained Baileys. Of Jared there was no trace. His bedroom was empty, and so was his bathroom. His bed had apparently been stripped, and the laundry room seemed to be where the scent of vomit was coming from. Shrugging his shoulders, Jensen got busy and dealt with the soiled bedding, finally shoving it into the washing machine to run it through the super special cycle for very dirty things.
Jared, when he was finally discovered, was down in the basement in Jensen’s bed. He was snoring loud enough to rattle the windows, and he stank of booze.
“Oh, baby,” whispered Jensen. “Why didn’t you come with me? You should’ve come with me.”
He went to find Tylenol and water, knowing how awful Jared would feel, come morning, and then stripped and clambered into bed beside him, taking the opportunity to feel the man he loved next to him, and hopefully to dream of things he knew could never be.
The morning came with much moaning and groaning. Jared said nothing upon waking. He drank the water, took the painkillers and then stumbled off, mumbling about needing to run off his hangover. Jensen just grunted. He could wait.
Finally, acknowledging that he wasn’t going to be able to sleep any longer, he rolled out of bed and went to prepare a cooked breakfast for his ridiculous co-star.
True to form, Jared arrived, sweaty and panting, and stood in the kitchen sniffing the air and from the looks of it salivating.
“Go shower. You don’t get to eat my bacon smelling like a horse.”
“Do not!” replied Jared, but his response was very quiet, and he went obediently to wash up.
By the time he’d showered and cleaned up, Jensen had scrambled eggs, made toast, sausage and bacon, and was slicing up tomatoes to garnish their plates. Wordlessly, Jensen pushed over a plate with a large helping and went to pour out the coffee. Jared gazed at him and muttered what might have been a ‘thank you’, but said nothing further.
They both ate. After his meal and several cups of coffee, Jared looked almost as if he would live, and Jensen decided it was time at last to talk about what had gone on while he was away.
“Why didn’t you come with me if you were so afraid of being left alone?” he asked. “You know I was worried. What were you thinking?”
“You’ve got your own life, Jen. I know you were taking Danneel to the premiere. Don’t wanna be the third wheel.” Jared looked as though he’d rather be anywhere but there, and Jensen stood as Jared did, putting out a hand to try and prevent him from leaving, beginning to feel a little spike of anger at Jared’s attempt to brush him off.
“For fuck’s sake, Jay! You know that Danny is a convenient partner for PR purposes,” growled Jensen. “So come on. Man up and tell me what was really bothering you.”
He put the hand out once again, daring this time to touch the other man's cheek, and then, without warning, he was swept up into an embrace that astonished him, hard body against his and the press of a growing presence behind the soft, well-worn denim against his groin.
Chest to chest, the two of them locked eyes. Widely dilated green looked with longing into hazel. Jensen felt his heart stutter. The erection he had been battling with a half-hour before was back, and it had brought reinforcements. He wasn't sure what to do next but felt that if he could only keep on breathing that would be a start. He felt his chest hitch in a sobbing breath. Then Jared moved gently in to place his soft lips onto Jensen’s, and it was too late to turn and run, too late to fight, too late to do anything except hold on tight to Jared and open up to the gently probing tongue, permitting it to slide in to tease his own.
Moaning now, he ran his hands around Jared’s back and pulled him in closer, until the breath faltered and hitched in his throat, and he knew that this was it. This was what he wanted, had always wanted. There could be no going back. He felt Jared's hand tangled in his hair and prayed that he could have this.
Lips parted then, and Jared lapped tenderly at the corner of his mouth. The words he’d always wanted to hear, but never believed would be possible, came at last, low, rustle of voice like the leaves blowing through a crisp fall morning.
"I missed you, and I realized why I finally ended things with Sandy. It wasn’t easy to admit it to myself, but now I have to, because I love you, Jensen." And Jensen believed. His body surged and leapt as the words hit him, sank in and permeated him with joy. He smiled softly at his co-star, the long tall Texan he didn't believe he would be able to let go of, ever again.
Jared closed his eyes for a minute, before opening them wide once more and reaching out his hand to capture Jensen's wrist. Slowly he brought Jensen's hand up to his lips, and Jensen gasped as he felt those lips he had been fantasizing about since the first season brush the back of his hand. Jensen shook his head from side to side, denying everything to himself. Jared stood calmly, still holding Jensen's hand, waiting. His tongue tip protruded just a little, and he traced a small wet circle on Jensen’s knuckles, making him gasp as he felt a flood of warmth rush from his belly button down to his groin, taking his common sense with it. Jared moaned very quietly, and slowly dropped to his knees.
Jared's eyes seemed impossibly large, and Jensen felt as if he was sinking into them, drowning in them. He slowly leaned forward, bending until his lips touched Jared’s. For a moment, the kneeling man stayed still, relishing the feel of the soft mouth on his, lip brushing silky lip in a gentle motion that made the blood pound in his ears.
For a few minutes, nothing mattered to either of them but the feel of tongue sliding over tongue, and the moistness of lip on lip. Finally Jared pulled back just far enough to allow him to speak. He opened his mouth, but only to mutter, “I love you,” again.
Jensen stopped his voice by moving in to kiss his lips again before wandering away to the corner of his mouth, over his eyelids to his thick, still damp hair. Jared gasped as Jensen began to nibble and suck on his neck leaving red marks behind as his lips wandered lazily over his skin. For a while, the only sounds were those of hands skating over toned bodies, and the moist sounds of mouth on skin, the ragged breathing of both men, and the clicking of doggy paws on the tile as Harley came in for a drink. He didn’t seem at all surprised.
Jensen felt as if he were bursting. His skin was too tight. He couldn't get enough air to fill his lungs, and the whole of his body sang like a harp as he did his best to climb inside Jared's skin. His hands wandered down to the tell-tale erection the other man was sporting. Jared groaned as Jensen delved down into his pants and took hold of him, squeezing gently and stroking up and down as he did so. Jensen could see the other man's face flush as his eyelids fluttered closed and then open again. Jensen watched the expression of awe creep across Jared’s face as he drank in the sight of Jensen's love stricken expression. Jared whimpered quietly, his eyes cloudy with need as Jensen made love to him.
“I don’t understand. How come you suddenly love me?” Jensen wasn’t sure if he should spoil the moment they were having. Jared laughed briefly.
“It’s not suddenly, Jen.” He shook his head. “Been in love with you since we met in Kripke’s office.” He picked Jensen up, ignoring protests that he was a grown man rather than a blushing bride and lugged him off to Jensen’s bedroom, dumping him down somewhat brusquely onto the unmade bed. “Why do you think I ended things with Sandy?”
“But you said…”
“I know, but you have to give a lady a way out. Sandy’s a really awesome girl.” Jared petted Jensen’s hair, smoothing him back until he was lying down, gazing up at Jared.
Jared's voice was gentle, faintly amused. "Right now I need you to love me, please love me. That’ll make everything right again."
Jensen nodded lying back on the comforter, tugging down on the sweats he was wearing to expose his cock standing tall and firm, moisture oozing from the tip. He reached down and pumped it up and down slowly, licking his lips, he gazed up at Jared while he fumbled down into Jared’s jeans to grab what felt like a very promising erection.
Watching with great interest he observed the way the other man responded to certain movements on his part and wondered why he’d never been able to see it before. It would have saved so much pain and woe.
Turning his concentration to the task in hand, Jensen squeezed the firm flesh he was holding, feeling the tremor that shivered through it. Circling the head of Jared's cock with his finger and thumb, Jensen began to squeeze around the ridge that separated it from the shaft, and as Jared arched his head backwards, moaning, he dipped his head to take it into his mouth, lapping at it before sucking it in as deeply as he could manage.
Jared tasted of salt and sweat. He tasted of love. There was nothing bitter about the drips that fell one at a time onto his tongue. Jared tasted better than anything he’d ever sampled, and he knew that he could never grow tired of it.
Closing his hand over the base of Jared’s thick shaft, Jensen pumped it firmly as he sucked. He knew that there was no way he could get the whole of it into his mouth, so he concentrated on the head of it, using every move he knew to give Jared pleasure. After a very few minutes he heard Jared's breathing change as he continued the sucking pressure. He felt Jared arch, buck, and finally come in Jensen's mouth. Heated velvet shuddered as it spat out the evidence of his care, and Jensen drank from him. Spurting semen still managed to trickle from the corner of his mouth as he swallowed, but Jensen didn’t care. This was his at last. He’d offered Jared his heart, and for a wonder, Jared had accepted it — even wanted it. He didn’t understand it but he sure wasn’t going to argue.
Jared was totally limp, lying flat and gasping as Jensen sucked him clean, running his fingers over the intimate creases where legs met belly.
Gently, Jensen wriggled himself upwards again to check on Jared. He was lying in a sprawl, boneless and panting, a smile of total bliss on his face as Jensen carefully claimed his mouth. Together they shared the taste of Jared's come as Jensen kissed him again.
“Love you, Jay,” Jensen whispered.
“Love you, Jen,” was the soft reply.
