Where are you?

Title: "Never Close Our Eyes"
Author: candygramme
Rated: R
Beta: spoonlessone
Pairing: J2
Genre: Slash
Word Count: 1,121
Author's notes: The boys prepare to say goodbye for another summer hiatus.

( Never Close Our Eyes )

Title: The One with the Tiny T-shirt
Pairing: J2 if you squint, but that isn't what this story is about.
Rating: NC17 for violence and unpleasant things
Warning: Darkfic, triggery, non-con
Beta: spoonlessone, who always comes through and who I value more than any diamonds.
Disclaimer: This is fiction. I don't wish to imply that this ever happened or would ever be likely to happen.
Notes: jennylynneh set up a challenge right here back in January, and I grabbed a title, because I am a masochist. The challenge was a 5,000 word story based on the title of a Friends episode. Try as I might, I could not make it into anything but a dark, nasty story. Also, it's 15K rather than 5. Other than that, it's perfectly fine!
Summary: It's true what they say: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you. Jensen wishes he'd been a little more paranoid, because they certainly were out to get him.

( The One with the Tiny T-shirt )

Part 2

Title: 500 Light Years From Home
Pairings: Jared/Jensen, Chris/Steve, Chad/Sandy
Rating: NC-17
Author: candygramme
Artist: insane_songbird
Beta: spoonlessone
Warnings: I'm warning for technobabble, death of a vile megalomaniacal spy and Chad, not necessarily in that order.
Disclaimer: I don't own these people, and I make no money with this story.
Word count: 25,457
Notes: This was written for the rpf_big_bang; it's crack, true enough, but the plus side is that no dinosaurs were hurt during the writing of this story.

( follow the cut to the links )

@UNpossiblyJA and @EltaDanneel are planning their wedding ceremony. Alas, it cannot be a real wedding because @EltaDanneel and @kanester01 accidentally got married in an Elvis chapel in Vegas, although neither of them can remember it. @UnpossiblyJA intends to send his family gift vouchers to Walmart rather than wedding invitations as it will be cheaper, however @iAmMishMish intends to attend the ceremony wearing a Losers T-shirt and his banana hammock in order to do some throat singing. @GennyCortese will be there too, wearing very little, as the pair of them are now called Genevisha and demand to be worshipped.

@The_Gossip_Boy called @GennyCortese a lisping beard, and @EltaDanneel a plastic bitch, which pleased neither of them. They are now plotting revenge. @TXCandyMan is ambivalent about his marriage. Some days it's on, some days it isn't, and he'd rather be with @UNpossiblyJA, who needs a paper bag to prevent himself from hyperventilating because he's trying to plan the wedding menu. Apparently this will consist mainly of moose, since @EltaDanneel shot one and doesn't have room in the freezer for all of it. Dessert will be chocolate Mousse.

@sugarysandy, @kanester01 and @EltaDanneel now live in a trailer because @bodylard4jandj trashed Kane's boat during a turkey-time. The have inherited Sadie and Harley, occasionally @icarusackles, a goldfish and an armadillo called Anthony who hates wearing accessories. @sugarysandy is learning to be a trailer park girl very fast indeed.

@Marksha_P and @bodylard4jandj have begun to design a wardrobe of high fashion garments made only of meat. @kanester01 and @chmmurray have invested in the company. They are forecasting great things for the collection.

@EltaDanneel has a stalker, @Dona301, who wants to skin her and wear her like a coat, but she believes @EltaDanneel now lives in Yemen. @sugarysandy finds the best way to quell her fears is to hit @kanseter01's Jack Daniels. @GennyCortese isn't happy that she doesn't have a stalker. It is believed that @Marksha_P may stalk her for a small reimbursement.

@EugeneGraul is annoying pretty much everyone, and @tomswelling has employed Mossad to keep himself and @Morosenbaum07 safe. @fandom_military is doing its best to guard everyone, but can only do so much. @GennyCortese keeps on threatening the Kane Mane, but at this point I am no longer sure why.

@kanester01 is loading his family (including the goldfish) into his truck to go to Oklahoma to visit his mom, and they are taking with them some of the most dreadful Elvis art ever, because that's what momma likes.

@DeadDaddyJeff had a birthday. We think he maybe drank too much, and it would appear that he can impregnate women purely by touching them.

Confused? You won't be...

I wrote this from a prompt by deluweil who wanted to see Jared and Chris get it on for the first time. I can't find the original post, but here's the story.

Word count: 1,550
Beta: marys_scribbles
Pairing: Jared Padalecki/Christian Kane
Rated: R
Warning: slash

( Guitar Hero )

Author: candygramme

Rated: NC-17

Pairings: JP/JA

Spoilers: None

Warning: Slash

Word count: 4,899

Beta: The lovely lorelei633 did the honours, and I also owe digital_opium for stopping me from switching out my tenses every 5 minutes.

Disclaimer: Dean and his family belong to Eric Kripke and Supernatural, Jared and Jensen belong to each other, they totally do... or at least they do in my head.

Author’s notes: This story follows on from By the Skin of Our Teeth

Teaser:“Don’t see why not. What’s the matter, Jay? You gonna throw up, kissing me? I’ll have you know that I’m considering getting these lips insured for a million bucks.” Jensen grinned, unconcerned, and continued to get dressed for the scene they were about to shoot.

( A Kiss Is Just A Kiss )

Disclaimer: You and I both know that this didn’t really happen, don’t we?

Author’s note: Jensen heads home to visit his folks for Christmas, leaving Steve to pine in LA.

Beta by the lovely and gracious lorelei633

Word Count: 3,356

By candygramme

( You, Me and the Christmas Tree )

SN-RPS
Author: candygramme
Pairing: Jsquared
Rated:NC17
Notes: This is a mood piece, with little to commend itself except the chance to imagine the two beautiful boys sleeping together and then not…
Disclaimer: They never tell me what they do, so I make it all up.
Beta: ailurophile6 did the honours for me. She’s awesome.
Word Count: 1055

( Melting Point )