J2SPNXmas gift for Cassiopeia7
Dec. 23rd, 2017 04:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
candygrammeTitle: The Seeker After Truth
Gifter:candygramme
Pairing/Characters:J2
Word count/Medium:~3,300
Rating:NC17
Warnings:Jared is considering suicide at the start of the fic
Summary:
Beta:spoonless1
Jensen
He couldn’t remember coming into being. He—let’s call him ‘he’ for the sake of the story—just was and always had been. He’d roamed the stars, explored whole nebulae and ridden on comets. He’d seen planets created and then destroyed. He’d witnessed birth and death on a cosmic scale, but he was slowing down. His need to wander, to see and to experience the universe had gone, and now he hung between the stars, no longer wanting to do anything, because, in truth, there was no longer anything that interested him.
He might have slept. Solar winds had blown him hither and yon for what must have been eons. It was the pull of a small, insignificant satellite that originally woke him from his apathy in time to perceive the sense of acute distress that emanated so strongly from the worldlet he was circling so dutifully. A vague pulse of interest flared through him for the first time in eons, and he shrugged himself free of the itchy, unpleasant debris he`d merged with and began to ready himself to investigate. There was so much life below him. He could feel it flaring up then winking out of existence—a vast, unwieldy cloud of emotions.
Pausing for a moment to bathe in the exuberance, he felt refreshed, renewed, alive. And then there was the call.
Jared
Sitting alone on the edge of one of the containers that littered the docks, Jared could feel the icy fingers of the wind probing through his jacket to bite into his chest and shoulders. Salt, borne on the wind, crusted his eyebrows, stung his chin, and he thought that it was exactly what he deserved for being Jared Padalecki and cursed.
And cursed.
He’d had everything. He’d been loved, he’d loved in return, until suddenly he’d had nothing. The press had printed the small obituary which had signified the end of his lucky streak. If he’d thought about it, he might well have called it the end of his life, too.
Which brought us back to here, with Jared, sitting all alone on the roof of one of the containers overlooking the bay. It was the brief moment before true dawn. The sea before him rolled and surged in silver and black, and cranes stood tall, gazing into the skyline like mechanical giraffes. The moon—not quite yet full but gibbous—flickered, turned lazily to green, then purple, before resuming its remote, aimless circling.
It seemed like a good time. Jared groaned, stretching his frozen limbs in an attempt to move and succeeded at last in scrambling to his feet. Nothing mattered now. His very existence was pared down to this single, definitive moment. The moment where he bade a final goodbye to the world that had taken everything from him and left him without the life he'd thought he had.
He wasn't close enough to the water to fall in, and there was something careless and unkind to the idea of just dropping to splatter onto the pavement so that someone would have to clean up the mess he left. With this in mind, he began to totter forward on his numb feet, moving along the edge of the container towards where the mechanical giraffes held their silent vigil. Reaching the end of the closest container, Jared surveyed the gap. It wasn't impossible to make the jump, but he would only have a short run up.
He didn't care. He’d try, and if he failed and finally spread his earthly remains across the asphalt paving below, then he felt sorry for the nameless laborer who would have to clean up the mess.
He backed up to the edge of the container. Taking a deep breath he drew what remaining energy he had. The wind was forgotten now; nothing could touch him anymore, and he gathered himself to make the final leap.
Poised in the act of beginning his final run, he froze.
Jensen
WHY?
The being—we’ll call him Jensen, although he isn’t Jensen yet, not really. Jensen sent out a compulsion field. The creature that emanated the distress that had him so confused froze, just as he’d intended, and he spun himself down the field of pain and misery, tendrils advancing to enfold the holder of such misery in a field of compassion.
Why?
His need to know permeated the whole of his being. He didn’t think he had ever known such spiritual distress, and it was jarring to him. For the entirety of his existence he had explored, pondered until he understood and then filed the knowledge away, satisfied. This was something new. This creature—this Jared, their link informed him—was ephemeral, and yet he was devoting his fleeting time to this... absence of positivity. Truly, Jensen needed to know more.
Everyone is gone. I have nobody.
The response was garbled, and it took Jensen a while to comprehend. He himself had no-one, and didn’t feel such blinding pain from it. He wondered how he could possibly learn this new condition. He would find a way, and that would be a project to satisfy his jaded soul.
You have me.
Jared
You have me.
Jared didn’t understand what that meant. Who did he have? He was still on the roof of the container, although he could no longer feel the icy wind, and that was strange to him.
Come. I need you to explain these things to me.
Jared felt his body turn and begin to descend the ladder at the side of the container.
He felt strangely at peace being no longer in control of his body. There was warmth, and he thought he fell asleep as whatever compulsion was operating him brought him to the ground. Once there, however, something was delving uncomfortably through his memories, seeking answers to questions that hadn’t been asked. Finally finding what it was searching for, Jared found himself turning and heading towards where his truck was parked.
“Are you a ghost?” Jared frowned. This commandeering of his body wasn’t something that happened naturally. Again he felt that sifting through his thoughts until the strange presence responded.
Not a ghost. I am a seeker after truths. You are a truth I haven’t yet learned, and I wish to learn you.
“How are you doing this? Talking to me and making me do stuff?” The situation was strange at the very least, but for the first time since his family had died leaving him to try and cope with life as best he could, he felt a little at peace, and thought it was something he should perhaps embrace. He could always come back and take his dive later, once this was over.
I have been a long time without interest, without motivation, but you and this world have posed questions that I find I need to answer. You were sending out unpleasant waves to me, and I to understand.
A surge of amusement rocketed through Jared, temporarily drowning out the link between them. “Oh, my GOD! Are you an alien? You are, aren’t you? You’re an alien.” Jared swallowed. “Are you going to subject me to the anal probe?”
There was a brief pause, presumably while the alien—if that’s what he was—searched for the correct response to make. Finally it seemed that he found what he was looking for.
I don’t wish to subject you to that. It wouldn’t be possible, since I am not corporeal. My job is merely to learn you, to catalogue your existence. I need to know what these fluctuations in thought might be.
“You mean emotions? I guess that’s what you’re talking about anyway. I don’t suppose non-corporeal beings have emotions. They don’t have hormones and glands and stuff like that, do they?”
The truck was open now, and Jared hopped in, pulling the door closed. Outside, a cold, suffocating drizzle had started to fall, and Jared made to move, to start the engine. He was relieved to feel that he could do so without a problem. He cranked up the heating and watched as the windshield fogged up as he breathed. “You know, I really don’t think you’ll be able to understand emotions. You don‘t have what you need to do so.”
This time there was a long pause. Jared thought that maybe the alien had gone and decided he should drive home for now and return tomorrow after getting some sleep. The sun had risen but it was still dark and gloomy due to the foul weather. He put the truck in gear and pointed it towards his apartment, trying to ignore the Christmas lights that were scattered around in store fronts and doorways. He was going to miss Christmas, and all the Christmases after it. It hurt too much to consider how things had been just a single year ago.
He had made it back home, parked his truck and was walking to his apartment when the alien finally got back to him.
If I need to do so in order to understand, I will become corporeal. Please allow me to prepare for this.
All Jared could do was shrug and say OK. If it was his own mind playing tricks, he didn’t care. It was trippy, but hallucinating was better than moping around. “Bring it,” he said and climbed into bed.
Jensen
As Jared slept, Jensen studied the makeup of his body, collected molecules and gradually began to build himself on the lines of the man he was studying—bone, musculature, vessels and blood. He pondered aesthetics, and formed an appearance he believed would be sufficiently acceptable. Skin and hair were last, and the finished product seemed as complete as it could be. Finally climbing into bed beside his sleeping subject, he set about infusing himself into the body he had created.
The first thing he experienced as his body began to work was the sense of warmth. A glow such as he’d never experienced made him catch his suddenly necessary breath. The bedclothes pressed against him, touching him and he closed his eyes to experience it more profoundly. He flexed his new body, feeling the slide of muscle over bone, feeling the pleasant stretch and startling himself when he moaned.
Jared, somewhere between sleeping and waking, made a snuffling sound and rolled over to fetch up against him. If he had felt the warmth of the blankets as pleasant, the feel of Jared’s smooth skin pressed to his was almost overpowering. He gasped. Jared burned hot against him, and he shivered at the sensation.
Jensen turned towards him and smiled, exercising his new facial muscles in an attempt to behave as his new appearance dictated he should. He watched Jared’s face light up in an answering, beaming smile, and felt a surge of affection flood him, although whether that too came from Jared or whether it was his own body generating it he wasn’t sure.
Jared
Jared blinked, mumbling as he woke up, slowly at first and then with a jolt as he realized that he wasn’t alone. A man with a face that would make angels weep for joy was next to him in his bed, and smiling. He smiled back; he couldn’t help it.
“What the hell?” It was daylight outside now, and enough light filtered through the drapes that Jared could see the newcomer’s features perfectly.
“I have become corporeal as I promised. I have discovered sensations that were unknown to me, and I need you to teach me more of this existence.”
The very innocence of Jensen’s request made something flutter deep within Jared’s belly. He gazed at the beauty that Jensen had created of himself and reached out a gentle hand to touch the creature’s smooth cheek. The request frightened him, because the creature requesting it had made himself so vulnerable.
“We’re going to have to talk about trust,” he said. “You’re much too beautiful to be out on your own. You’ll be horribly hurt.”
“Hurt?” Jensen looked confused.
“Hurt is something unpleasant. It makes you feel bad. You can be hurt physically or mentally, but it isn’t something you’d like to happen to you.” Jensen nodded, but still looked puzzled.
“You will show me. I must understand.”
“Believe me, Jensen, you will never know it all if you study for a lifetime.” Jared racked his brain, trying to think of a way to begin explaining emotion. “There are different ways of feeling. Some things you’ll feel with your body; some things you feel with your mind, your heart. When you lose someone you love, it hurts even though your body is fine.”
For the first time since his family had died, Jared had begun to feel interested in something—or someone. He knew that Jensen would need to be guarded from the outside world until such time as he understood society and could avoid the predators out there.
“Only you can teach me, Jared,” announced Jensen. “You are the one that I found after being alone, and that tells me that you belong with me. This is a new thing, and very wonderful.”
A shiver went through him. It occurred to Jared that this, too would be something he could lose, and he was already developing feelings for him. Jensen gazed at him, eyes wide and brilliant, full of trust, and Jared finally cast his fate to the winds. “Okay. You got me. I’ll take care of you and show you the ropes.” He slid his arm around Jensen and pulled him close. Jensen most obligingly snuggled up, and he couldn’t resist dropping a kiss onto Jensen’s smooth forehead. Jensen wrinkled his forehead and then grinned.
“I believe I begin to understand some of your pain,” he said. “You are so alone in your heads, and speech is a clumsy, imperfect way to communicate. What do humans do to feel less alone?”
“Uh, I don’t really know.“ Jared thought for a few moments. “I guess that we can be together without speaking and feel comfortable. Sometimes we hug.” He squeezed Jensen as he spoke. “Or we play games together, or we make love. Sometimes we just have sex to feel closer to someone.”
“What is that?” Jensen had been nodding along, but he held up his hand to stop Jared. “I didn’t see anything like that in your mind.”
“I don’t really get off on sex on its own.” Jared closed his eyes. “I just gave up on finding someone to love when my folks died.”
“I want you to love me.” Jensen smiled again. “You’re my teacher and my...my person. I don’t know the word, but you belong to me.”
“I do, huh?” Jared smirked at him. “I don’t want to take advantage of you. I know that you’re actually an innocent...”
“Nonsense! You are afraid of the hurt you think you will feel if I return to the universe.” Jensen blinked, for all the world like a great cat. “This will not happen. I must learn about you and your world, and I can’t do that by returning to the void.”
Jared took in the sight of him, dark smudge of lashes framing lustrous green eyes, pale, freckled skin, determined chin, and a mouth so soft and kissable that he couldn’t resist. He bent his head the little distance that was needed to in order to touch those lips with his own, halfway wondering if Jensen would back away.
He did not. On the contrary, he reached to cup the back of Jared’s head, holding him steady as Jared tried to pull away. Somehow the kiss felt right to Jared, his heart gave a sudden thump, and he went for it.
With that first taste, that first slide of Jensen’s tongue against his, Jared felt something inside of him click, like a perfectly fashioned key into a lock, tumblers rolling easily, the feeling of something simply and effortlessly sliding into place. It was so perfect that he tensed, about to pull back.
It’s okay, Jared, sounded in his head. With a start, he realized that Jensen was still sending him encouragement, and that he would never be alone again. He slid his palm down Jensen’s back, heat and satin skin glowing against his palm to make it tingle. There were soft breaths and a low-grade pulse of encouragement from Jensen that made him want to throw caution to the wind and just go for it.
He was hard. Understatement! He felt invincible, Superman, able to drive through rock to find his goal. Jensen expressed surprise, and he wasn’t sure if that was in his head or not since he hadn’t yet stopped kissing. One of Jensen’s hands snuck down to feel his cock, exploring, squeezing and generally driving him completely insane. Jared did the same to him, matching him touch for touch, and sending an explosion up and out of his body until every limb, every inch of skin was burning hot, tingling with the sheer joy of the joining of not only bodies but minds.
“Is this having sex?” Jensen asked as Jared licked across his chest and down towards his fuzzy treasure trail.
“No.” Jared was certain of that. “This is making love.”
Jensen’s impatience was like a living, breathing thing beneath him. It was there in the quick rise and fall of the muscular chest. It was there in the constant flex of his thigh muscles, the restless movement of his hands as they clutched at Jared’s hips, sliding to the small of his back and dipping down to explore Jared’s behind. He pulled them close, fitting them together. And then Jared finally snapped, gave a sort of full body shiver; a low, needy groan coming from somewhere deep in his chest.
He wanted to taste Jensen, feel the weight of him in his mouth. He began to untangle
himself from Jensen’s limbs, only to have Jensen put out a hand to squeeze his shoulder, effectively stopping him.
“Just let me—” Jared began, covering Jensen’s hand with his own, forcing him to grip tighter while he ground his now erect cock against Jensen’s. “I want to—,” he tried again, but then gave up and kissed Jensen once more, sucking Jensen’s full lower lip into his mouth and holding it there—tugging, biting.
Please.Jensen’s silent plea was accompanied by whimpering sounds, and Jared decided that there would be time for further exploration later. Right now he would concentrate on showing Jensen how good making love would feel. Reaching between their two bodies he wrapped his hand around the two erections and began to slide them together in a slow, dreamlike fashion.
Jensen’s reaction was immediate. He cried out and began to push in against him. Jared increased his speed and pressure, and when Jensen’s hand came to join his he helped Jensen set their pace.
It was over too soon. Jensen cried out again, his body convulsing as he shuddered through the unfamiliar ecstasy, and the sight of him was enough. Jared came too, spilling his load between them so that they were both well and truly slimy and sticky. Collapsing down and to the side, he rolled onto his back and lay panting next to Jensen.
“I believe studying this calls for much more attention,” murmured Jensen, once he could speak again. “There are merits to this that I’m sure will become clear with time.”
Jared laughed. “I’m pretty sure I’ll enjoy observing your process. I’ll be very happy to grade your work. I just hope you don’t graduate too soon and fly off to the stars again.”
Jensen gazed at him, his eyes heavy-lidded and sated. “I will stay with you,” he said. “But if the time ever comes when I need to go, you will come with me.”
Gifter:
candygrammePairing/Characters:J2
Word count/Medium:~3,300
Rating:NC17
Warnings:Jared is considering suicide at the start of the fic
Summary:
Beta:
spoonless1Jensen
He couldn’t remember coming into being. He—let’s call him ‘he’ for the sake of the story—just was and always had been. He’d roamed the stars, explored whole nebulae and ridden on comets. He’d seen planets created and then destroyed. He’d witnessed birth and death on a cosmic scale, but he was slowing down. His need to wander, to see and to experience the universe had gone, and now he hung between the stars, no longer wanting to do anything, because, in truth, there was no longer anything that interested him.
He might have slept. Solar winds had blown him hither and yon for what must have been eons. It was the pull of a small, insignificant satellite that originally woke him from his apathy in time to perceive the sense of acute distress that emanated so strongly from the worldlet he was circling so dutifully. A vague pulse of interest flared through him for the first time in eons, and he shrugged himself free of the itchy, unpleasant debris he`d merged with and began to ready himself to investigate. There was so much life below him. He could feel it flaring up then winking out of existence—a vast, unwieldy cloud of emotions.
Pausing for a moment to bathe in the exuberance, he felt refreshed, renewed, alive. And then there was the call.
Jared
Sitting alone on the edge of one of the containers that littered the docks, Jared could feel the icy fingers of the wind probing through his jacket to bite into his chest and shoulders. Salt, borne on the wind, crusted his eyebrows, stung his chin, and he thought that it was exactly what he deserved for being Jared Padalecki and cursed.
And cursed.
He’d had everything. He’d been loved, he’d loved in return, until suddenly he’d had nothing. The press had printed the small obituary which had signified the end of his lucky streak. If he’d thought about it, he might well have called it the end of his life, too.
Which brought us back to here, with Jared, sitting all alone on the roof of one of the containers overlooking the bay. It was the brief moment before true dawn. The sea before him rolled and surged in silver and black, and cranes stood tall, gazing into the skyline like mechanical giraffes. The moon—not quite yet full but gibbous—flickered, turned lazily to green, then purple, before resuming its remote, aimless circling.
It seemed like a good time. Jared groaned, stretching his frozen limbs in an attempt to move and succeeded at last in scrambling to his feet. Nothing mattered now. His very existence was pared down to this single, definitive moment. The moment where he bade a final goodbye to the world that had taken everything from him and left him without the life he'd thought he had.
He wasn't close enough to the water to fall in, and there was something careless and unkind to the idea of just dropping to splatter onto the pavement so that someone would have to clean up the mess he left. With this in mind, he began to totter forward on his numb feet, moving along the edge of the container towards where the mechanical giraffes held their silent vigil. Reaching the end of the closest container, Jared surveyed the gap. It wasn't impossible to make the jump, but he would only have a short run up.
He didn't care. He’d try, and if he failed and finally spread his earthly remains across the asphalt paving below, then he felt sorry for the nameless laborer who would have to clean up the mess.
He backed up to the edge of the container. Taking a deep breath he drew what remaining energy he had. The wind was forgotten now; nothing could touch him anymore, and he gathered himself to make the final leap.
Poised in the act of beginning his final run, he froze.
Jensen
WHY?
The being—we’ll call him Jensen, although he isn’t Jensen yet, not really. Jensen sent out a compulsion field. The creature that emanated the distress that had him so confused froze, just as he’d intended, and he spun himself down the field of pain and misery, tendrils advancing to enfold the holder of such misery in a field of compassion.
Why?
His need to know permeated the whole of his being. He didn’t think he had ever known such spiritual distress, and it was jarring to him. For the entirety of his existence he had explored, pondered until he understood and then filed the knowledge away, satisfied. This was something new. This creature—this Jared, their link informed him—was ephemeral, and yet he was devoting his fleeting time to this... absence of positivity. Truly, Jensen needed to know more.
Everyone is gone. I have nobody.
The response was garbled, and it took Jensen a while to comprehend. He himself had no-one, and didn’t feel such blinding pain from it. He wondered how he could possibly learn this new condition. He would find a way, and that would be a project to satisfy his jaded soul.
You have me.
Jared
You have me.
Jared didn’t understand what that meant. Who did he have? He was still on the roof of the container, although he could no longer feel the icy wind, and that was strange to him.
Come. I need you to explain these things to me.
Jared felt his body turn and begin to descend the ladder at the side of the container.
He felt strangely at peace being no longer in control of his body. There was warmth, and he thought he fell asleep as whatever compulsion was operating him brought him to the ground. Once there, however, something was delving uncomfortably through his memories, seeking answers to questions that hadn’t been asked. Finally finding what it was searching for, Jared found himself turning and heading towards where his truck was parked.
“Are you a ghost?” Jared frowned. This commandeering of his body wasn’t something that happened naturally. Again he felt that sifting through his thoughts until the strange presence responded.
Not a ghost. I am a seeker after truths. You are a truth I haven’t yet learned, and I wish to learn you.
“How are you doing this? Talking to me and making me do stuff?” The situation was strange at the very least, but for the first time since his family had died leaving him to try and cope with life as best he could, he felt a little at peace, and thought it was something he should perhaps embrace. He could always come back and take his dive later, once this was over.
I have been a long time without interest, without motivation, but you and this world have posed questions that I find I need to answer. You were sending out unpleasant waves to me, and I to understand.
A surge of amusement rocketed through Jared, temporarily drowning out the link between them. “Oh, my GOD! Are you an alien? You are, aren’t you? You’re an alien.” Jared swallowed. “Are you going to subject me to the anal probe?”
There was a brief pause, presumably while the alien—if that’s what he was—searched for the correct response to make. Finally it seemed that he found what he was looking for.
I don’t wish to subject you to that. It wouldn’t be possible, since I am not corporeal. My job is merely to learn you, to catalogue your existence. I need to know what these fluctuations in thought might be.
“You mean emotions? I guess that’s what you’re talking about anyway. I don’t suppose non-corporeal beings have emotions. They don’t have hormones and glands and stuff like that, do they?”
The truck was open now, and Jared hopped in, pulling the door closed. Outside, a cold, suffocating drizzle had started to fall, and Jared made to move, to start the engine. He was relieved to feel that he could do so without a problem. He cranked up the heating and watched as the windshield fogged up as he breathed. “You know, I really don’t think you’ll be able to understand emotions. You don‘t have what you need to do so.”
This time there was a long pause. Jared thought that maybe the alien had gone and decided he should drive home for now and return tomorrow after getting some sleep. The sun had risen but it was still dark and gloomy due to the foul weather. He put the truck in gear and pointed it towards his apartment, trying to ignore the Christmas lights that were scattered around in store fronts and doorways. He was going to miss Christmas, and all the Christmases after it. It hurt too much to consider how things had been just a single year ago.
He had made it back home, parked his truck and was walking to his apartment when the alien finally got back to him.
If I need to do so in order to understand, I will become corporeal. Please allow me to prepare for this.
All Jared could do was shrug and say OK. If it was his own mind playing tricks, he didn’t care. It was trippy, but hallucinating was better than moping around. “Bring it,” he said and climbed into bed.
Jensen
As Jared slept, Jensen studied the makeup of his body, collected molecules and gradually began to build himself on the lines of the man he was studying—bone, musculature, vessels and blood. He pondered aesthetics, and formed an appearance he believed would be sufficiently acceptable. Skin and hair were last, and the finished product seemed as complete as it could be. Finally climbing into bed beside his sleeping subject, he set about infusing himself into the body he had created.
The first thing he experienced as his body began to work was the sense of warmth. A glow such as he’d never experienced made him catch his suddenly necessary breath. The bedclothes pressed against him, touching him and he closed his eyes to experience it more profoundly. He flexed his new body, feeling the slide of muscle over bone, feeling the pleasant stretch and startling himself when he moaned.
Jared, somewhere between sleeping and waking, made a snuffling sound and rolled over to fetch up against him. If he had felt the warmth of the blankets as pleasant, the feel of Jared’s smooth skin pressed to his was almost overpowering. He gasped. Jared burned hot against him, and he shivered at the sensation.
Jensen turned towards him and smiled, exercising his new facial muscles in an attempt to behave as his new appearance dictated he should. He watched Jared’s face light up in an answering, beaming smile, and felt a surge of affection flood him, although whether that too came from Jared or whether it was his own body generating it he wasn’t sure.
Jared
Jared blinked, mumbling as he woke up, slowly at first and then with a jolt as he realized that he wasn’t alone. A man with a face that would make angels weep for joy was next to him in his bed, and smiling. He smiled back; he couldn’t help it.
“What the hell?” It was daylight outside now, and enough light filtered through the drapes that Jared could see the newcomer’s features perfectly.
“I have become corporeal as I promised. I have discovered sensations that were unknown to me, and I need you to teach me more of this existence.”
The very innocence of Jensen’s request made something flutter deep within Jared’s belly. He gazed at the beauty that Jensen had created of himself and reached out a gentle hand to touch the creature’s smooth cheek. The request frightened him, because the creature requesting it had made himself so vulnerable.
“We’re going to have to talk about trust,” he said. “You’re much too beautiful to be out on your own. You’ll be horribly hurt.”
“Hurt?” Jensen looked confused.
“Hurt is something unpleasant. It makes you feel bad. You can be hurt physically or mentally, but it isn’t something you’d like to happen to you.” Jensen nodded, but still looked puzzled.
“You will show me. I must understand.”
“Believe me, Jensen, you will never know it all if you study for a lifetime.” Jared racked his brain, trying to think of a way to begin explaining emotion. “There are different ways of feeling. Some things you’ll feel with your body; some things you feel with your mind, your heart. When you lose someone you love, it hurts even though your body is fine.”
For the first time since his family had died, Jared had begun to feel interested in something—or someone. He knew that Jensen would need to be guarded from the outside world until such time as he understood society and could avoid the predators out there.
“Only you can teach me, Jared,” announced Jensen. “You are the one that I found after being alone, and that tells me that you belong with me. This is a new thing, and very wonderful.”
A shiver went through him. It occurred to Jared that this, too would be something he could lose, and he was already developing feelings for him. Jensen gazed at him, eyes wide and brilliant, full of trust, and Jared finally cast his fate to the winds. “Okay. You got me. I’ll take care of you and show you the ropes.” He slid his arm around Jensen and pulled him close. Jensen most obligingly snuggled up, and he couldn’t resist dropping a kiss onto Jensen’s smooth forehead. Jensen wrinkled his forehead and then grinned.
“I believe I begin to understand some of your pain,” he said. “You are so alone in your heads, and speech is a clumsy, imperfect way to communicate. What do humans do to feel less alone?”
“Uh, I don’t really know.“ Jared thought for a few moments. “I guess that we can be together without speaking and feel comfortable. Sometimes we hug.” He squeezed Jensen as he spoke. “Or we play games together, or we make love. Sometimes we just have sex to feel closer to someone.”
“What is that?” Jensen had been nodding along, but he held up his hand to stop Jared. “I didn’t see anything like that in your mind.”
“I don’t really get off on sex on its own.” Jared closed his eyes. “I just gave up on finding someone to love when my folks died.”
“I want you to love me.” Jensen smiled again. “You’re my teacher and my...my person. I don’t know the word, but you belong to me.”
“I do, huh?” Jared smirked at him. “I don’t want to take advantage of you. I know that you’re actually an innocent...”
“Nonsense! You are afraid of the hurt you think you will feel if I return to the universe.” Jensen blinked, for all the world like a great cat. “This will not happen. I must learn about you and your world, and I can’t do that by returning to the void.”
Jared took in the sight of him, dark smudge of lashes framing lustrous green eyes, pale, freckled skin, determined chin, and a mouth so soft and kissable that he couldn’t resist. He bent his head the little distance that was needed to in order to touch those lips with his own, halfway wondering if Jensen would back away.
He did not. On the contrary, he reached to cup the back of Jared’s head, holding him steady as Jared tried to pull away. Somehow the kiss felt right to Jared, his heart gave a sudden thump, and he went for it.
With that first taste, that first slide of Jensen’s tongue against his, Jared felt something inside of him click, like a perfectly fashioned key into a lock, tumblers rolling easily, the feeling of something simply and effortlessly sliding into place. It was so perfect that he tensed, about to pull back.
It’s okay, Jared, sounded in his head. With a start, he realized that Jensen was still sending him encouragement, and that he would never be alone again. He slid his palm down Jensen’s back, heat and satin skin glowing against his palm to make it tingle. There were soft breaths and a low-grade pulse of encouragement from Jensen that made him want to throw caution to the wind and just go for it.
He was hard. Understatement! He felt invincible, Superman, able to drive through rock to find his goal. Jensen expressed surprise, and he wasn’t sure if that was in his head or not since he hadn’t yet stopped kissing. One of Jensen’s hands snuck down to feel his cock, exploring, squeezing and generally driving him completely insane. Jared did the same to him, matching him touch for touch, and sending an explosion up and out of his body until every limb, every inch of skin was burning hot, tingling with the sheer joy of the joining of not only bodies but minds.
“Is this having sex?” Jensen asked as Jared licked across his chest and down towards his fuzzy treasure trail.
“No.” Jared was certain of that. “This is making love.”
Jensen’s impatience was like a living, breathing thing beneath him. It was there in the quick rise and fall of the muscular chest. It was there in the constant flex of his thigh muscles, the restless movement of his hands as they clutched at Jared’s hips, sliding to the small of his back and dipping down to explore Jared’s behind. He pulled them close, fitting them together. And then Jared finally snapped, gave a sort of full body shiver; a low, needy groan coming from somewhere deep in his chest.
He wanted to taste Jensen, feel the weight of him in his mouth. He began to untangle
himself from Jensen’s limbs, only to have Jensen put out a hand to squeeze his shoulder, effectively stopping him.
“Just let me—” Jared began, covering Jensen’s hand with his own, forcing him to grip tighter while he ground his now erect cock against Jensen’s. “I want to—,” he tried again, but then gave up and kissed Jensen once more, sucking Jensen’s full lower lip into his mouth and holding it there—tugging, biting.
Please.Jensen’s silent plea was accompanied by whimpering sounds, and Jared decided that there would be time for further exploration later. Right now he would concentrate on showing Jensen how good making love would feel. Reaching between their two bodies he wrapped his hand around the two erections and began to slide them together in a slow, dreamlike fashion.
Jensen’s reaction was immediate. He cried out and began to push in against him. Jared increased his speed and pressure, and when Jensen’s hand came to join his he helped Jensen set their pace.
It was over too soon. Jensen cried out again, his body convulsing as he shuddered through the unfamiliar ecstasy, and the sight of him was enough. Jared came too, spilling his load between them so that they were both well and truly slimy and sticky. Collapsing down and to the side, he rolled onto his back and lay panting next to Jensen.
“I believe studying this calls for much more attention,” murmured Jensen, once he could speak again. “There are merits to this that I’m sure will become clear with time.”
Jared laughed. “I’m pretty sure I’ll enjoy observing your process. I’ll be very happy to grade your work. I just hope you don’t graduate too soon and fly off to the stars again.”
Jensen gazed at him, his eyes heavy-lidded and sated. “I will stay with you,” he said. “But if the time ever comes when I need to go, you will come with me.”
I LOVE this!! <333
Date: 2017-12-24 03:53 pm (UTC)I love how you paralleled Jensen's solitary, depressed existence with Jared's. How they'd both basically given up -- Jensen's deep sleep, as he floats through endless space and Jared contemplating suicide, another form of endless sleep.
In the end, they both get exactly what they need -- a new lease on life. And Jensen promising to take Jared along if he ever had to leave? A gorgeous bow atop an already beautiful Christmas gift! Thank you so much, darlin', and a very Merry Christmas to you! <3333
(And no worries -- you gave me plenty of spaaaace imagery to love!)
Re: I LOVE this!! <333
Date: 2017-12-25 05:54 am (UTC)Please enjoy your Christmas, and don't forget to have a wonderful New Year!
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Date: 2017-12-25 05:29 pm (UTC)♡
P.S. Do you have an AO3 account?
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Date: 2017-12-25 07:57 pm (UTC)Merry Christmas!
I do think Jared should get a turn at going into space